The Tesco Doctor

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The Tesco Doctor

Post by Wotif on Thu 22 Nov 2012, 5:56 am



One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'
'Listen mate; don't waste your time down at the surgery', Mike replies.
'There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and better
than a doctor and you get Club card points too'.
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks'.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture for
good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would
happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits
the results with a grin. The computer prints the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.


2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....

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Re: The Tesco Doctor

Post by Guest on Thu 22 Nov 2012, 9:38 am

Wotif wrote: 5) If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....

And i thought it was the bloody detecting i was doin all along jkihyig Razz Razz Razz

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